Skyrim: In Memory of Astrid
by Obrusnine
Summary: *Don't read unless you've finished the Dark Brotherhood storyline in Skyrim* This is a story of how I feel the Dark Brotherhood storyline should really have ended. It showcases how the Dragonborn deals with Astrid's death and the sudden change to tradition.


**So I decided that this needed an improved draft. There were some things I wanted to expand upon and some typos that needed correcting. Here we are.**

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><p><strong>Skyrim: In Astrid's Memory<strong>

_**By Niko DelValle (AKA Obrusnine)**_

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><p><strong>Last Updated On: October 6<strong>**th****, 2012 ED**

**(fD= First Draft/ FD= Final Draft / RW= Rewrite / ED: Basic Edit, addition of material)**

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><p>A black horse moved slowly towards the door with a skull imprinted on it. A red flash seemed to cross it's empty eyes as it approached. A small pond lay to the right. The black horse opened its eyes to reveal a red glow akin the flash from the door. A male rider clad in dark black leather armor sat on top of it.<p>

He slowly stepped down, the horse neighed. The rider patted the horses head.

"It's okay Shadowmere, stay here. There's something I need to do." He said softly. "Something I need to do that will help the both of us get over the memory of what transpired here..."

The horse pushed its head into the rider's chest, then stood up straight and wandered off to the pond, taking a sip of the water. It brought a memory of the one he had come for to his head.

"_Heh, you seem too soft for an assassin. Remind me how you get here again?" Astrid said. _

"_You are the on that brought me here. __Just because I kill for money, doesn't make me a bad person." The Dragonborn had said. "I need the money, so I work for it. Besides, I am but the weapon… The Dark Brotherhood is who wields me."_

"_You have a strange outlook on things, but I find it refreshing so I won't pester you anymore." She responded, standing up straight from her usual place on the wall and nodding at him. She walked away._

That had been soon after he had joined The Dark Brotherhood.

"…_I find it refreshing…" _

Those were the words that lingered in his mind. She had accepted him as something different, because to her, different meant something new, something good. He had appreciated that from her more than she had ever known.

The rider stepped forward towards the door, and using all of his strength he pulled it open. The magical word lock had been broken when the hideout had been attacked. It was dark inside, the torches that had been lit before had faded to nothing.

He opened his hand and used magic to make a fire. It revealed that a lot of the small cave had caved in, but there was still enough space for him to get through, and he used it. From the first room, he turned left. Sometimes stones and fallen wooden supports blocked his path, but he pushed through. He turned toward the place where he had killed her.

He remembered, the air whooshed as he stabbed with the dagger of woe. The feel of that air against his hand, and then the sound it had made when it had plunged into her chest. He had felt the warm blood erupt out of it. It had been the first time he had killed someone for The Dark Brotherhood he was attached to, and not lightly.

The Dragonborn had viewed Astrid as one of his closest friends, maybe more than that if time allowed. But time had not allowed, the Dragonborn had been foolish to believe that time allowed anything he wanted. It never had before, and it wasn't going to start now.

What hurt him the most though… was the fact that Astrid had been so foolish… thinking that if she told the truth, she couldn't have redeemed herself… that they wouldn't have forgiven her for her actions, however traitorous they had been.

She should've known that no matter what, if she had had a reasonable explanation for why, they would've forgiven her. He wasn't even mad at the fact that she had arranged his death; she had only been defending what she had believed. He admired that in any person, whether or not he was personally attached to them.

In the time of her death, she threw aside the values she had established. Thinking that because they had stopped being so religious… because they had become true assassins instead of cultists… they had been destroyed. That hadn't been the reason… the reason had been that she was human, and she had made a grave mistake. She thought that because they had been destroyed… the values she had established had been for naught… that the old ways were best.

He slowly stepped into the room, and was overwhelmed by the stench of the dead, and knowing who it was and who had killed her didn't make him feel any better. He almost threw up. But, he overcame it. Using his free hand, he grabbed an unlit torch from the wall and touched it to his flaming hand to ignite it. He laid it on the ground next to Astrid's remains. He put out the fire on his hand. The crackling fire from the torch cast light in an interesting way, making the left side of the room dark from the shadow of Astrid's body.

He gathered the remains into the blanket and wrapped her up, throwing scented flower petals over her corpse before doing so. They deadened the smell ever so slightly. But even if he had cared about the smell of her, he wouldn't disrespect who she had been by reacting to it. He would push through.

As he finished wrapping her up, he stitched the blanket shut so that she would not fall.

He remembered something else then. Something he had told her a few nights after the night mother had started addressing him.

"_This is insane." He had said simply. _

"_What?" Astrid had asked him with a curious look._

"_This listener stuff, it goes against what I believe. It goes against everything we've been working for; we're turning into the old brotherhood." He had said. "The old brotherhood was a group of religious cultists; I thought that this brotherhood was different. I thought that we were going to be a true alliance of assassins, and now this crazy Cicero guy comes out of nowhere."_

"_It still is, I am the one in charge here. Not her, but I'm still deciding to let this play out." She said._

_He had grinned._

"_Curiosity getting the better of you?"_

"_I would say no, but that would be a lie." _

Yes, her curiosity had gotten the better of her. It had cost her her life, her friends lives, and the brotherhood its ideals. The loss of ideals mattered not anymore though, as he planned to retrieve them.

He stepped back outside of the brotherhood sanctuary to find Shadowmere already waiting for him. After all, he had previously belonged to her. The Dragonborn was more than proud at being the horse's owner. He put the body over the horses back, the horse neighed solemnly.

"_Let's just say… he's one of us." _Astrid had said, and he had almost been not surprised at all by the horse's appearance. Especially after all he had been through… all of his journeys across this land.

"She was one of us…" He said. The horse nodded. He grinned. "You are to, and you're a lot smarter than you look."

The horse neighed proudly as the Dragonborn climbed onto his back.

"Now, let's go back to where this started."

He grabbed the reigns and turned the horse, he then dropped them as the horse seemed to start moving toward their destination of its own accord. It was far, but the horse knew the terrain, and where they were travelling.

The trip was long but for the most part uneventful. The Dragonborn sometimes passed people on the road, and was sometime attacked by highwaymen. But Shadowmere knew that the time for battle was not now, and escaped easily. Eventually, they made it to Morthal, and accordingly headed north.

The Dragonborn took the reins again

"_Oh… no, no, no… Don't you understand? Guilt… Innocence… Right… Wrong… Irrelevant. What matters is I ordered you to kill someone… and you obeyed." _

She had said. It had been so long ago that he could barely remember, but the words had taken a place in his mind. It had been too long, it had taken too long for him to come to the realization that what he was doing was going against everything he believed it. He had followed _her _guidance for too long, and now he planned to end this charade and stand up for those beliefs.

The shack was even more overgrown with vegetation than when he had last seen it over a year before. Vines were growing through the walls, and parts of the wall had caved in. When he attempted to open the door, he was held back by vines. He drew his sword and cut it off. When he tried to open the door this time, the rotted wood and unoiled hinges were un-cooperative. Seeing no other choice, he kicked the door down.

He retrieved the body wrapped in the soft linen from the back of Shadowmere. He neighed in response, seeming to urge him to do something.

"What is it boy?" He asked. He gazed longingly at the cloth burden he held in his arms, and he understood. It had been long since the horse had gazed upon its old mistress's face, and he wished to see it one last time. The Dragonborn nodded and set the wrapped body down on a dry patch of ground. He used a dagger to cut some of the stiches off, and lifted a section of cloth to reveal Astrid's slightly rotted and burned… but still discernable… face.

The horse stared at the face for a moment in mourning. The Dragonborn saw sadness in the horse's eyes. Moments later, the horse nodded and turned away. He needed not question the horse to whether he was done, for he knew the answer. He re-covered her face and stood with her in his arms.

He stepped into the small abandoned shack with his burden; the stench of someone long dead hit his nostrils. Who he had killed still remained. But he cared not about them.

The inside was no better than the outside. Vines grew up from the floor of rotted wood and he could see outside through the hole in the wall he had seen earlier. He stepped into the center of the floor, and looked down.

"FUSRODAH!" He shouted in the language of dragons. The first shout he had learned, one of unrelenting force, pushed aside the floor pieces, sending them into the ceiling and surrounding floor. He would use real tools, but he felt that the person he was to bury deserved a full show of his power. Besides, he had things to do and didn't have the time to waste digging.

He would've in respect to the one who he carried if he could.

The dirt was pushed out of the hole into a pile by a series of subsequent shouts. He set the body down in the hole gently, uncovering her face once more and running his hand through her still inexplicably soft hair and a portion of the not yet rotted sections of her face.

"I will stand by what you believed in." He said. "Not what you believed at the time of your death, but before then… when our friendship didn't have to exist in separate worlds."

He removed his hand and covered her face once again. He stepped behind the pile of dirt full of intention.

"FUSRODAH!" He shouted again, and the dirt flew right back into the hole. He walked over the grave, out the door, and got onto Shadowmere. "It is done."

The horse looked back at him doubtfully.

"Okay, fine. It is not, there's still more left to do to make sure that she has received a proper burial. Like marking that grave… but I'll do so later. There is something else I need to do, let's get to the Dawnstar Sanctuary my friend."

They again set off. The journey this time was much shorter, and the encountered no one on their way. The fog was soon conquered by snow, slowing Shadowmere down slightly as a blizzard blew fierce winds across their faces. The Dragonborn raised his hood and raised the section of cloth attached to the front of the neck of his leather armor. He usually used it to hide his face, but now he used it to beat back the cold as the wind beat at the hood he had to hold tightly to and sent his cape billowing behind him.

Luckily, he wore a fur coat under his armor. But it did not stop the cold from ravaging his face, which he pressed into Shadowmere's mane. The horse instinctually turned to protect his master from the cold with his warm fur. They soon entered the town of Dawnstar, but as before, no one stood anywhere near… instead staying hidden from the snow, wind, and cold in the nearby houses and buildings.

"We're almost there…" He said as they approached the entrance to the Sanctuary over the rocks. The wind and cold as always made the short trip rather long, and the lake was partially frozen beside them. Eventually though, they made it to the door and the Dragonborn stepped down onto the rocks. He went up to the door that was so similar to the one he had just seen the day previous. He knew it spoke, but he could not hear it's rather quiet voice over the wind.

Still, he knew what had been said, and in response said, "Innocence, my brother."

The door opened for him and he stepped back. He would usually leave Shadowmere outside when he visited the Sanctuary, but the weather was not co-operative enough for that. The horse needed no guidance when the Dragonborn beckoned for it to come it stepped inside ahead of him and he followed, closing the door behind him. He pulled the cloth down from his mouth and lowered his hood, breathing into his hands as the rather warmer air of the Sanctuary took him.

Still, it was not warm enough and he endeavored to go further inside. Shadowmere's fur was enough to protect him and he stayed near the entrance as the Dragonborn headed further inside. He saw the training range below, and the two initiates Nazir had brought into the Brotherhood training with bows, Nazir standing close at hand and observing.

They were a man and a woman named Mair and Bjorn.

A fire raged in a fireplace they had added recently down inside the range, and the Dragonborn quickly descended and went to stand next to it, paying no attention to the training initiates.

"Oblivion if it was cold outside huh my listener?" He asked the Dragonborn sarcastically from his own place near the fireplace.

"Indeed." He replied.

"Take care that horse does not do its business in the hallway, I'm sure not cleaning it up." Nazir said grinning.

"…and hear I thought I was the one in charge here." The Dragonborn replied smiling. "Where's Babette?"

"She's still on that contract you sent her on three nights ago." Nazir replied. "The weather is not exactly cooperative right now, I suppose she's probably badgering shelter out of some family foolish enough to take her in and let her raid their kitchen."

"I can imagine." The Dragonborn replied.

"So… how did it go?" He suddenly shifted uncomfortably as he became more serious in tone.

"It went fine… I still need to go back and mark the grave… but right now there are other things that require my attention." The Dragonborn replied.

"Like what?" Nazir asked.

"You don't really want to know, believe me. Why do want to know how it went anyways? Do you want to see the grave yourself? Mark it yourself?" He replied.

"No… I've put that chapter in my life behind." Nazir said. "Besides… even in the rather short time you belonged to our Brotherhood under her, you knew her better than most. Except for maybe Arnbjorn, but he didn't speak of it much so I wouldn't know."

"I see… Speaking of my secret task, can you have the initiates haul a cart large enough to carry a coffin of rather big size up near the entrance? I will have use of it later." The Dragonborn said.

"What? Are you going to unbury her and put her inside?" Nazir asked. Before the Dragonborn could respond however, he spoke again. "Never mind, I don't really want to know as you said. In the meantime, you look exhausted my friend. Why don't you go get some sleep?"

"Thank you Nazir, I'll do that." The Dragonborn replied. He spent a small amount of time more at the fireplace warming up before starting towards his master bedroom. "Make sure the horse gets out to "do its business" won't you Nazir?"

"Of course my listener." Nazir replied grudgingly. The Dragonborn grinned and went to the bed he kept in the Sanctuary… and he slept. He awoke much later, still warm but no longer tired. He stood and got dressed in his fur coat and armor before tying on his cape. He stepped from his room with purpose, he could tell it was either early morning or night now, as Nazir and the initiates were nowhere to be seen.

This was good for his intentions. His secret mission begged his attention, and the Dragonborn moved to pursue it with due diligence and slightly tense nervousness. He quickly went to stand in front of the Night Mother's coffin and looked up into her rotted face.

"Ah… listener." The Night Mother said from the resting place. "Have you come for more contracts?"

"No." He said. The Dragonborn kept scrutinizing her and scowled.

"Then why do you still stand before me?" She asked.

"Because… you need to go."

She laughed satanically.

"What, you plan to oust me? How dare you…" She started to say.

Before she could finish talking, the Dragonborn slammed the coffin shut. He grabbed the cart the initiates had left a little more towards the entrance as he had asked and brought it before the coffin. He got behind it, and tilted the coffin until it fell into the cart. Still, no one was around, and no one seemed to notice the noise… which was good.

He quickly pushed the cart past Shadowmere and opened the door and pushed it out of the entrance and onto the rocks. Several days earlier, he had left a boat behind the rocks farther down the coast, and he grabbed it now. He set it in the water and brought the cart over, he then tilted it and the coffin fell into the boat standing upward before falling onto its back… breaking the wooden planks intended for seats. It did not matter, as the boat would not be surviving past this day. The boat almost sank, but it was able to hold and stayed afloat. He nodded, and he opened the coffin back up.

"You know, I knew day time would come." She said, almost solemnly.

"If you knew I was going to do this, then why keep me as your listener?" He asked.

"Because, you were the only one who would or could listen. The rest were fools, just as sweet Cicero was. Besides, I see that the future you carry for the brotherhood is far better than the one I do. Sithis begs the course of action that ends in the most death." She said. "I knew that you would stand up for what you believed in one day, and, you actually made the right choice. Much death will come from it."

The Dragonborn rested his foot against the edge of the boat.

"Then… Night Mother… goodbye… and good riddance. I serve you and Sithis… no more. No matter if he thinks I am still serving his purposes." He said, and kicked the boat. It slowly went out into the lake.

Suddenly, there was a cacophony of running footsteps behind him.

"What do you think you're doing!?" Nazir yelled at him as he ran up behind him and grabbed his shoulder. The Dragonborn turned around, forcing Nazir to release his shoulder.

"I am doing what is right for the brotherhood my friend." He said. "I'm doing what Astrid would've wanted me to do."

"You heard her before she died! She wanted a brotherhood led by the Night Mother again!" Nazir said. "She told you that she had been wrong."

"That was her feelings talking." The Dragonborn said. "It wasn't what she really felt. I'm going to turn this brotherhood back into a true order of assassins. With our renewing popularity from the assassination of the emperor, we don't need her anymore."

"But listener…" Nazir started to say.

"I am no longer a listener, but a mentor. A mentor to the order of assassins known as the Dark Brotherhood." He said, and turned back to look at the boat in the distance.

"ODAHVIING!" The Dragonborn shouted. There was a roar in the distance. "BURN HER!"

The dragon appeared, and let loose a jet of flame as he passed over the boat. The boat erupted in a pillar of fire, and sank within seconds.

"What… what have you done?" Nazir asked shocked. "Sithis will seek vengeance for this."

"We serve Sithis no longer, and he will not seek vengeance. For he cannot. He is but a fantasy created to make you fear death and what it brings…" The Dragonborn replied. "I have not seen him in this world of ours, and I never will. So he can seek vengeance if he wishes… if he is even real… I am stronger."

Nazir nodded slowly.

"As you say…" He replied. "I trust this was your secret mission? I do not wish to encounter any more surprises from you."

"Yes my friend. It indeed was my secret mission." He replied. "There will be no more surprises from me. I will confide in you from now on… this was just… a rather touchy matter."

Nazir laughed.

"You don't say?" He asked. The Dragonborn smiled weakly in response before taking on a more serious look.

"Now we forge our own path." He said. "Let's begin."

Nazir and the Dragonborn headed back inside in silence. Both of them with a confidence in the future… Nazir's inspired by his friend's conviction… and the Dragonborn's by Astrid's memory.

_It is done Astrid. _He thought as he headed to his master bedroom and a journal he had been keeping recently. _The ideals that make this brotherhood have been restored; I just hope I can do right by your memory._

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><p><strong>Okay, done. I've wanted to write this for a while. It reflects what I feel should've happened at the end of the brotherhood storyline, and I hope you enjoyed it.<strong>

**Remember to review when you're done reading, and if I still have typos I didn't catch, tell me and I will do a final revision into a last draft. **


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